Turmoil Week (Wats new?)

haben blog for quite a while. was really bz at work...bz running studies, bz cleaning mess, bz writting sops, bz worrying about loads and loads of thing. the week din started well... rollover effect from last wk. some of the spiro result from A929 was rather atrocious and the sm was making alot of noise about it. they annouced their decision to halt the study on tues. i cant describe how i felt at that moment. my kolics were very concern and came over to console me but i dun think i felt sad. initially i was so pissed with rec*uitment but somehow i got numbed. as the study took off and things started going from worst to worstest, i eventually lost faith in the unit. i feel so sian about everything. really is chim xim liao. i think the only feeling i have after hearing that news was embarassment. so throw face to have such things happening...somemore its my very own protocol.

i remembered that day when everything was not going well for me esp A929, i started surfing the recruitment websites in a moment of anger. i came across an advert from A*, i dun really qualify since they were looking for pple with molecular experience but nontheless, i applied. received a call from them on mon... was all the more determine to go for the scheduled interview on wed after the study halt incident. so i told everyone i need to take time off to go sch, and i went for the interview.

the interview was good... at least that was 1 interview i felt real good after the whole thing was over. was feeling happy when i walk back to the mrt station but as the train moved nearer to bugis, my mood changed. see... thats how bad p*izer has affected me. it has drained me mentally, physically and spiritually. i am so so so scare that 1 day, i will become lazy and lack of aspiration like my partner. but i feel confortable still in this place cos of my few wonderful and supportive kolics friends. i hate to leave them but den again, 天下無不散之宴席. they will all leave one day.

i let buddha make the decision for me. dun give me choices... show me the path for i am a lowly creature with limited grey matters...