guess wat was my first tot when the clock struck 12 on NYE? holy shit! i'm 30! truly nitemarish for me. u noe many people told me that age doesnt really matters... its my mentallity that counts. NEH! when a person reaches 30, everything changes... the hormones, the physique, the mentality yada yada. u just feel different. i feel myself reacting slower... ok, perhaps thats due to the fact that i'm putting on weight, getting lazier and therefore resulting in delayed reaction but hey! lipids are suppose to make neuron transmit faster! ok, lame. i can see myself aging! looking into the mirror just gets torturous as days goes by. and i am getting more pessimistic. i keep having negative tots and boy, they r getting scarier. i will think of myself getting into an accident, kana some incurable disease, getting ditch and growing old alone or people around me leaving me. at certain point of time, i will feel that everyone on this world owes me and i will throw tantrum out of nothing. the most unlucky person will be the gal beside me. meanie. nv felt like this before when i was younger and so i unreasonably attribute all these to growing old.
as the economy worsens, i dare not have much hopes for this new year. all i hope is to be able to earn more $ and save as much as i can in order for us to migrate in 5 years time. is this too much i'm asking for? i dun think so~
